I discovered a cool feature on my cell phone this morning. Actually, I knew it was there but thought it was useless. The Voice Record. After chatting briefly with C. she gave me a list a mile long of things to do when I got back to our office 40 minutes away. Not wanting to forget anything I quickly recorded her requests on the voice record. Now I understand!

I've been having trouble sleeping lately. Not really sure why. Some nights it's very hard to fall asleep and other nights it's hard to stay asleep. Last night was one of the nights that made it very difficult to stay asleep. I must have woken up 6 times. It's really starting to annoy the crap out of me.

Have I mentioned the fact that I can not wait to move to our new building? OMG. I can't hold back the excitement. My desk space will triple and my area is as big as a small bedroom. It's crazy. Plus there is lots of natural light. Oh I can't wait. I'm still not sure if the drive is going to bug me or not. I had to go there for a meeting this morning and it took me 1 hour and 10 minutes. Didn't bother me though. I'm going to experiment with different routes and see how it goes. Count down to new building...8 business days left.

Back to work...

I did it

I actually did it. I'm free. So why doesn't it feel as good as I thought it would? I went in for my review and we started going through the actual review form. About 1/2 way through I saw my opening so I piped up and said that there seems to be some confusion on who I'm working for and what building I'm going to. I then said I was going to work for C. and I'm going to the new building closer to the city. He asked me why in which I informed him for several real reasons. Great opportunity, lot to learn from C., want to go to De Paul, hubby will be working that way and it might make sense for us to move...I just left off the part about how I could no longer stand him. Then the biggest shocker happened. He actually agreed with me! He said that if I wanted to continue to grow that I should work for C and that there was definitely more opportunity there. Let me tell you, I was floored. His demeanor completely changed back to the old M. I was dumbfounded. He said that he would have rather heard this from me first than from C. and he honestly looked hurt. I explained that when C. presented my options to me I thought it had already been discussed between the two of them and I apologized for assuming. His eyes then went misty (you know that point that is as far as a guy will go to crying) and he said "I'm going to miss you." Well shit. Of course I teared up at this point. My heart was saying "I'll stay, never mind, I'll stay." But thankfully my head was overpowering my heart. I told him that this was very hard. I was just a kid when I started working for him and he gave me an opportunity I would not have gotten anywhere else. I started with no experience or knowledge and I'm leaving him with more than I ever thought I would. That I wanted to make sure he understood how thankful and greatful I am of everything he has done for me over the past 8 years. He said that meant a lot. We continued on with the review (which was very good) and when we were done we reminisced about the days when I first started. When it was all over he stood up and walked around the desk. He then gave me a great big hug and said I was good peeps. I couldn't help it, I was full fledge crying. I then walked out of his office as quickly as I possibly could. A great sense of relief and peace has washed over me. Freedom, independence...but with it comes a huge sense of sadness. I keep telling myself that he betrayed me and that there is no doubt in my mind he would do it again...but that doesn't make it any easier. It's not like I'm never going to see him again...but it is definitely an ending to an era and a start of a new chapter.

I'm going to be sick

I think I'm going to be sick. Today is the day. Today is the day I tell my ex-mentor that I am no longer working for him. I have to cut the cord. I finally get my review (7 months overdue) and I have to tell him that I am permanently going to be working for my new boss and not him. I was up most of the night struggling with this. I already have an answer for the question "Why don't you want to work for me anymore?". Want to hear it? Ok. "Because I want to continue to grow and I think I could learn a lot from XXXX and I see more opportunity there." How does that sound? It's the truth. I'm just omitting the fact that I can't stand him any longer and that he burned the bridge 2 years ago. I see the light at the end of the tunnel but it doesn't make the journey any easier. He's been a big brother and I feel like I've grown up with him. I was only 19 when I started to work for him. I had no experience in anything and he gave me a shot. He's taught me a lot over the years and I am really thankful of that but the last 2 years everything has gone down hill and I can no longer stand to look at him let alone be in the same room. Not to mention that I want to go to DePaul and working from our new office closer to the city makes that a possibility. If I continue to work for him then I have to work at the office near the current office and that means I can't possibly go to DePaul. This is going to be so hard. I'm torn up inside. I'm struggling with the fact that he makes me sick but I feel like I'm betraying him and that is just not my personality. I'm very loyal and this feels like I'm stabbing him in the back...but I have to keep in perspective that he betrayed me 2 years ago and has just continued to sell me out ever since. I feel like I'm going to cry. I must be strong. I must stand up for what I want. I have to do this for my own sanity. God this is hard. I always knew this day would come eventually whether that meant I was leaving the company or working for someone else. I have to do this. Just keep telling myself that...I have to do this.

I can't win...

My office is moving to a new office in a couple of weeks. As a company we decided we needed to purge a lot of things in storage instead of drag them to the next office to collect dust. The company has been around since 1992 and there are literally boxes of receipts, invoices, and other misc stuff from that time in the basement. I told the people in accounting to tell me when they were going to have the stuff destroyed because I had to go through it all to pull things of sentimental value for our founder. Well...they told me on Tuesday afternoon that the company was coming the next morning. Gee, thanks! There were literally over 150 boxes stored down there. So I cleared my afternoon and spent 4 hours going through boxes (staying about 3 hours past the time I was supposed to leave). I was still only about 1/2 way through. So I came in early the next morning and went through the rest of the boxes for another 4 hours. I finished just in time for Iron Mountain (that was the company that was going to destroy the stuff for us). Come to find out...the people in accounting had told them that we only had 15 boxes so that was all they could take. I stayed late and came in early for nothing! I could have spaced this out! ARGH! Morons.

Random Facts about Me...

1. I tend to eat too fast.

2. When you standing at the foot of the bed facing it, I have to sleep on the right side farthest away from the door.

3. I prefer to sleep with the door closed but I never get to since the cats need to come in and out.

4. I eat all of one thing before I eat another.

5. I organize candy by color and then eat each color in order.

6. Most nights I suffer from nightmares.

7. I have 7 tattoos.

8. 7 is my favorite number.

9. Guns N' Roses is my all time favorite band.

10. I sleep to music.

11. I have a fan running at all times in my bedroom no matter what the season.

12. I'm an obsessive list maker.

13. My parents divorced when I was 19.

14. I've always wanted to see Italy.

15. Law & Order, all three versions, is my favorite TV show.

16. I must drink Diet Coke. I HATE Diet Pepsi.

17. I hate Eggplant and refuse to eat it.

18. I'm not a "people-person".

19. I think GMail is the best email service out there.

20. My new boss is unusually cranky today.

21. I'm currently drinking a diet coke.

22. I can't tell what hurts worse, my head or my toes.

23. My review at work is 7 months over due and I'm getting really mad.

24. I bite my fingernails and I really wish I could stop.

25. I twirl my hair when I nervous, tired, bored...

26. I need glasses for driving at night...but I rarely wear them.

27. I want to move to Tennessee...but I might never get the chance.

28. I have a half-brother and a half-sister from my Dad's previous marriages.

29. My dad is currently married to his 5th wife. My mom was #4.

30. I LOVE football.

31. I HATE baseball.

32. I got married when I was 20.

33. I have terrible Arachnophobia.

34. I love to watch Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

35. I'm a perfectionist and I would rather just do it myself than delegate work.

36. I don't think I could ever be alone.

37. I bought my first home when I was 23.

38. I'm terrified of losing my Dad.

39. I love thunderstorms.

40. I can't stand being in a vehicle longer than 1 hour.

To Be Continued...

Ode to Boxers...

Why do I love Boxer's so much? Let me tell you.

1. They are beautiful creatures. They have very defined muscles and a lean body that make them gorgeous.

2. They make the most adorable noise that fellow boxer lovers refer to as the Woo Woo noise. They don't bark, they Woo at you.

3. When they get excited the curl their head to their butt and turn into a kidney bean. It's rather funny.

4. They chase flys like cats.

5. They are very cat like in the way they clean themselves and use their paws. They are also very clean dogs.

6. They will have sudden bursts of energy for no apparent reason and run as fast as they possibly can. We call ours the retarded rabbit because of the way she hops when she runs.

7. When they smile it lights you up inside. (Yes, dogs do smile.)

8. They are excellent jumpers and have the ability to jump straight up into the air several feet.

9. They suffer from incredible jealousy. I can not hug my husband without Roxy coming up to Woo Woo me. It just makes you feel so loved.

10. They think they are lap dogs even though they weight 50 - 60lbs.

11. They are incredibly playful.

12. They are very curious about everything...

13. Very intelligent.

14. They have a tendency to be stubborn and sneaky. Which I find to be cute..

OUCH!!!

I did a stupid thing last night. After the kids went to bed I went into the living room to watch TV I got the remote off the entertainment center and turned on the show I was going to watch. In those few seconds I got very engrossed in the show, not really paying attention, so when I turned around to go sit on the couch I smashed my foot really hard into the coffee table. Needless to say I broke the second and third toe on my right foot. Man does this hurt. I have them taped up to keep them from moving but the aching pain is really annoying. Every once in a while I get shooting pain up my foot and leg to my knee.

This is the second time I broke the toes on my right foot. Many years ago when I was dating Al (my husband) I had snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. We went over to his parents house and were just hanging out. At one point in the evening he had his back to me while he was talking to his sister in her room. I was standing in the doorway. Feeling playful I thought it would be funny to kick him in the ass. Boy was I wrong. When I went to kick him I ended up kicking a dresser next to me instead. So not only did I break my toes but I had to figure out what to tell my parents in the morning. Luckily I had a gate in my bedroom door to keep the dog out of my room at night but still let the cats come in and out. I told my parents I got up in the middle of the night and ended up kicking my own dresser when I tried to step over the gate.

I guess my toes on my right foot are just destined to be mis-shapen.

My growing hatred towards Disney...

So in the final class I'm taking to finish my Associates in Science, Principals of Management, I have to do these case studies of the Walt Disney Corporation. As the class progresses and the more research I do, the more I can't stand this company. They have their hands in EVERYTHING. Movies, tv networks, merchandise, travel, theme parks...you name it, they do it, own it, or have plans to. Can anyone say MONOPOLY!?

Where I am...Who I am...

I wanted to revisit a topic I started in my first blog. The fact that I define myself first by my husband and my children. Looking back to when I graduated high school 9 years ago I definitely didn't think I would be here, where I am right now. I'm not sure if I really could see 10 years down the line at that point in my life but I know if I could have I wouldn't have imagined a husband, children and a house in the burbs. I've always wanted to be married...but the children thing...I don't think I was ever really sure I wanted children. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my children and I don't think I would have done anything differently but that doesn't change the fact that this isn't what I pictured for my life. Does anybody ever get what they pictured? I don't think so. The best line I've ever heard from a song was "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans." Isn't that the truth. The best laid plans never work out the way you think they should. Am I cynical...most definitely. What can I say, I'm a pessimist at heart. No amount of drugs will ever change that.

Getting off track again...I still haven't answered why I define myself by my family. That's hard to answer. I guess it's because I'm involved with them more than anything else in my life. When I think of myself I see a mother, a wife, a musician, a...wait, that's right, I'm a musician. I really miss that part of me. I can play several instruments but I can never seem to find the time to actually play. Back to what I was saying...I see a hard and loyal worker, a loner of sorts. I'm not much for socializing...There are times that I wish I had more friends but to tell you the truth, I don't really have the energy or the drive that is needed to sustain more friends. The few friends I have are good for me. They are all close, I can trust them all with my life, and I love them all. Do I really need superficial friends? No, I don't think so.

Jordis

I love Jordis Unga. I love her music. Her sound is unique and her voice is amazing. I was glad she did not win on Rock Star...she just wouldn't have fit with INXS and her talent would have been wasted. Now, after saying that I wish she would hurry up and put out an album. I've been listening to her on myspace and it's just not enough for me. I want more! If you haven't ever heard her you should go check it out. www.myspace.com/jordismusic. Trust me, you won't be disappointed.

Bored, bored, bored

So I'm sitting at work with absolutely nothing to do. My new boss is away on business, my old boss is at a baseball game, and my task list is empty. So of course I decide that now would be a good time as any to start a blog. Why I think anybody would care to read it is beyond me but hey, what the hell. At least it will give me something to do for a little while.

Let's see...I suppose I should tell you something about myself. I'm 27, married, and have 2 children. Why is it that every time I am asked to describe myself those things come out first? Why do I define myself by my marriage and children? Interesting...sounds like a topic for another blog entry...

Where was I, oh yeah, telling about myself. So I work as an Executive Assistant to the CEO. I've been with the company for almost 8 years and I recently got a new boss since the old CEO stepped down and is just the chairman of the board now. It's my first time working for a woman which I didn't think I would like but as it turns out she's pretty cool. I'm actually enjoying my job for the first time in 2 years. Amazing. My old boss unfortunately is still around so I have to deal with him all the time. He's another topic for a different blog...Our office is splitting into two locations in a couple of weeks so I will finally have the separation from him that I desperately need.

I went back to school about 2 years ago in pursuit of finishing my B.S. This summer I will complete my Associates in Science and then I have to take a break...funds are way too low for me to transfer right now. Hopefully I will be able to transfer to DePaul for the Spring Quarter. Ideally I want to go to Law School. Why you ask? Well, as far back as I can remember I wanted to be an attorney. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that but about 2 years ago I had to work closely with an attorney in connection with a lawsuit (my company was being sued) and it was the best time of my life. The stress, the time, the energy, it all didn't matter because I loved every minute of it. So the spark was created and back to school I went. Now my SIL, who I have a hard time dealing with, decided to go to Law School and that bothers the hell out of me. Not really sure why...It's some sort of competition I think...I think maybe deep down I'm scared I won't ever make it to law school and I'll be the failure while she upstages me...whatever, I'll get over it.

I quit smoking 13 months ago...one of my great feats. But to tell you the truth I really miss it. I don't miss the cost, the smell, the stains, or any of that but I miss the click that smokers have. Stupid isn't it.

I don't drink very often...not really sure why. I love rum drinks but I don't care for the way it makes me feel so I tend to avoid alcohol most of the time. Mmmm...but I LOVE Bailey's.

I have a white boxer that I absolutely adore and 3 cats...which is 1 cat too much. I'm a cat lover at heart but I have always wanted a boxer and by a stroke of pure luck I got one for free. She has turned out to be the best dog.

Alright, I've rambled on for way too long now. Time to find something else to occupy my time.